With all the blogs out there about how to choose a wedding celebrant, there don’t seem to be any that tell you why you should NOT choose a celebrant for your wedding ceremony.
So, thinking cap pulled on tight and here are my reasons why a celebrant led wedding might not be for you.
OK, I lied in the title – there aren’t 101 of them, but it was kind of catchy. So, here we go…..
A friend could do it
Why would you choose a wedding celebrant if you have a friend/sister/uncle who you wouldn’t mind asking to stand in front of your guests and carry out a “ceremony”?
After all, you don’t even need to actually train to be a wedding celebrant. Of course, most celebrants invest in top quality training so that we can craft our beautiful ceremonies, invest in ongoing training to keep our skills of writing and delivery, our knowledge of law and ritual all right up to date.
But if you’re lucky enough to have somebody who could do exactly that and not let you down at the eleventh hour when the nerves kick in or they don’t know what to write (yes, I’ve come to the rescue in both these cases!) then you could maybe NOT choose a wedding celebrant.
Your ceremony budget
Did you know that the lowest budget for a ceremony is around £127? I’m not kidding – £127 and you’re legally married!
That’s two lots of giving notice of marriage (£35 each) and a statutory ceremony, just the legal bits (£57).
In fact, most of my couples do exactly this, but then, of course, go on to choose a wedding celebrant – me – to craft an awesome ceremony, unique to just the two of them once the legal bit has been dealt with.
A truly heartfelt wedding celebration.
But if that’s what you’ve got in the budget, then you should NOT choose a celebrant for your wedding.
The ceremony really isn’t that important
If you choose a wedding celebrant, then the ceremony will sit at the very heart of your day. It certainly won’t be the boring bit that everybody fidgets through to earn their food and drink.
But if you want a ceremony that is basically the same as everybody else has, is over and done with quickly and forgotten about by the end of your wedding breakfast, then you really should NOT choose a wedding celebrant.
I’d have to write personal vows
I’ve heard all the reasons why this can be a stumbling block.
“I wouldn’t know where to start”
“I wouldn’t know what to say”
“I’d feel embarrassed reading in front of my friends and family”
“I’ll start crying”
Because speaking from your heart to the one person who means the absolute world to you, telling them what you adore about them and what you promise to share with them in your future lives together – that’s hard, right?
Of course, choose a wedding celebrant and you’d have an expert, a trusted guide to help you through all of those nerves both before and at your ceremony.
But if you still think it would be so much better to mumble through the pre-written “I do’s” that you’ve selected from a civil ceremony e-booking form, then that’s another reason you should definitely NOT choose a wedding celebrant.
Just one more thing to think about
Believe me, I know what it’s like. It wasn’t that long ago that I planned my own wedding. There’s a list as long as your arm of things to get sorted.
When it comes to the ceremony, and assuming you are not getting married in church, if you tick one option then all you’ll need to think about is maybe a reading or two and some music (remember to leave out anything remotely religious here) and then tick option A, B or C to choose which version of the words you’d like.
But if you choose a wedding celebrant then there will be at least two lengthy meetings to plan your unique ceremony, lots of nosey questions to answer to get a feel for the two of you as a couple, choosing readings together that really suit the two of you, deciding on music.
They might even suggest breaking with the traditional entrance, doing something different, adding in a unity ceremony or some other stunning ritual.
And if this would just tip you over the edge when you have colours of bridesmaids’ dresses, table centrepieces, first dance music, wedding favours, best man gifts etc, etc, etc all to think about, then maybe you should NOT choose a wedding celebrant.
Head or heart?
When it comes to the person standing with you at the front of your ceremony on the most important day of your lives you might want somebody who
- You’ve only just met
- Has fitted you into their diary between two other weddings
- Is super business-like, reading from a standard script
- Insists on perfect timing so that they can move on to their next ceremony
And if that sounds good then you should NOT choose a wedding celebrant.
Because if you were to choose a celebrant you will find that the person standing with you at the front of your ceremony on the most important day of your lives is somebody who
- Has earned your trust and friendship
- Has made you their complete diary for the day
- Is super efficient in a relaxed way and, yes, reading from a script, but one that they have written with and for you alone
- Isn’t having to dash off somewhere else and understands that weddings don’t always work like clockwork
I told you I’d exaggerated in that title, but these are my six reasons NOT to choose a wedding celebrant for your ceremony.
So should you or should you not choose a wedding celebrant………
……….these couples are glad they did.
And if you think, after reading my words, that you maybe would choose a wedding celebrant, or just want to find out more, then I’m ready to chat. You can contact me here.